well, well, look at that!

P2D4
Weight 235
Difference: -5

Today IS a good day! I am feeling pretty good, and the fact that 5lbs were gone made it all the more glorious. I think the most amazing part of all of this.. is I am not hungry physically at all. I worried a bit, that missing breakfast might make it difficult, but i seem to be managing. I can hear my stomach rumbling, but its not painful.. and, i am feeling really good. I debated al morning, whether or not to have something for breakfast, but i think that might just be my head "thinking" i need something. I am anticipating some mind games with myself, especially since i haven't been through a weekend yet, but i am so ready to fight those demons, get them out of the way and move on this time
My husband seems to be as on board with this as much as i can expect him to be (seeing as I have tried every diet in existence) and even though he seems a bit apprehensive... (who wouldn't after 14 years of failed attempts), he is honoring this decision, and thats all i can ever ask.

I do have to say though, I am amazed at my fat girl skills. The fat girl that has taken over the real me for so long, doesn't want to leave easily. I mean the weight starts to come off, and she starts trying to convince me at how much better she is than my thin self will ever be. I almost feel as though being thin will change who I am. Which it will, but not in the ways I mean. I mostly mean, that no one will know me.. that maybe they won't like me for my personality, which is what i have had to depend on for so long, that i won't have "sisters" in the same boat as me.. its almost as if, deep down, I won't know how to live with just being "normal, average" stupid right? But, oh so real in my head. I have read through so many blogs over the last few weeks, psyching myself up for this path. I have spent the majority of my childrens lives fat. I have made excuses, tried to blame it on this that and the other.. but what these short 2 days have taught me, is that when it comes down to it.. I am that which i have been searching for on the outside for so long. I am the one that can support, love and honor myself. That I am just plain enough. Wow... what a concept.